Heart to Heart

The beginning of this year I came into school not knowing what to expect. I'd had a rough freshman year, rough summer.. so automatically I thought sophomore year was going to be just as terrible. I came in thinking I'd have no friends, and with every intention to do homeschooling after the year was over with. I know I said that I wasn't going to open up about things.. and still, I'm not.. unless it's worth being shared. The past few years have been quite a journey for me. I left everyone I knew, everything I was used to and moved in with my mom for the first time in 8 years. I started off my 8th grade year in a county I truly despised. I was one of the most "popular" girls there, one of the prettiest.. but still no one really liked me.. It  didn't feel like home to me.. and I would get so upset because I didn't think I was ever going to be able to make friends like I had before. We moved here.. and pretty quickly, I befriended a few people. Not the crowd I was used to, but friends are friends, right? I couldn't expect to be on top of the chain everywhere I went. That's just not logical as a new girl. And I'm kind of happy I'm stuck in the middle here. It gives me flexibility to be who I want with no expectations from everyone else. But even then.. It didn't feel like home.. I wasn't having those same automatic connections you get when you first meet your best friends.. I couldn't tell them things knowing they'd relate or understand.. we were all on different levels.. and again I was upset, thinking no one will compare to those friends I had, the life I had and all it's advantages. For two years now I've been with the same guy, and I'm amazed at the fact that I can uphold a relationship for that long. We've had a rough two years as well. Been through a lot. Not really the first half of it, that was like heaven.. I couldn't've asked for anything better and I thought it'd be an easy relationship to maintain. But it's been almost a year since I lost the baby, and it's changed things more than I ever imagined. You grow up a little inside, you see things different, you grieve but you also just want to continue on and just do what will make you happy.. and I never really took advantage of opportunities this year to get back the strength that I've needed, and the happiness I want out of life. I just have moped.. and hated this year because of what happened.. and in order to be okay I need to do that.. And because I just was so negative, sophomore year has been terrible. I haven't been involved in anything, my grades are worse than they've ever been and my dreams of graduating pretty highly ranked in my class, it's ruinned. I just wasted most of my time. But I don't want to waste any more of it.. I don't think I deserve to just waste my teenage years.. or throw them out the window.. If you knew me before all this.. you'd know what I've made myself be this year is never what I wanted for myself.. To fail classes, to have a low self esteem, all these issues going on? no. But There have been a few good things to come out of sophomore year. Of course, my permit and soon my license. I no longer want to do homeschool.. I'm fine with finishing at school, there's a lot I want to accomplish the next two years. I'm going out for cheer again, even though it seems like it really sucks.. I really want to encourage it to be better and show everybody what a cheerleader really is. And I don't mean who can do the most flips.. But where I cheered before I can tell you it was really fun and the girls were actually peppy and looked like they enjoyed it and got into it and wore bows on top of their heads and what not.. and if you cheered there you were proud of it.. and I want to feel like that again.. so if I make it, it best be that way or i'm gonna be disappointed and wear my dern bows and smile anyway! but along with all that, towards this ending of the year.. I found some great friends.. ones that made me feel at home.. I can be me.. and tell them anything comfortably.. Ones just like I had my whole childhood.. I mean it took me three years of living here to find them.. But I'm happy to have found them and hope we stay as close knit as we are now.. I just feel pretty blessed to have found people that are there for me like that again and I cant even explain it.. They may be weird or a little bit crazy, but honestly.. who isn't? but If everything turns out as planned.. I'll have those things left from sophomore year that weren't so bad after all.

Shoes!

I like all of these shoes and want to purchase them or ones similar to them. They might look a bit weird, but it's just my personal taste! :)

I need opinions!

Alright! First off, this is the first time I've ever took open opinions about my hair and will probably go with what is suggested most. As soon as I can I'll be making my hair change for the warmer months. All my options and important details should be highlighted in some way. Just pretty please leave an opinion. But if not, I'll be asking more than just this class.

-Trim my bangs to a normal length or let them keep growing? (They're at the awkward stage)
-Left, right or middle part? (If you suggest middle, I wont cut my bangs cause that's ugly)
-Should I get the red tones out of it before I get my highlights, or leave it in? (more than likey will be taken out)
-Trim my hair? (probably will to make it healthier.. nothing dramatic though because i'm letting it grow)

I really don't mean for my hair to have red tones to it, naturally my hair is more of a cool, light to medium ashy brown.. So the highlights(all over, and a pretty good amount of them) will be cool, sandy colors.

Or I'm open to a few different things being done color wise. NO GOING DARKER! It's spring/summer time and I'm just not into that right now. I'm sort of open to the idea of the ombre thing. If you don't know what that is, look it up, it's basically like faded highlights in large portions toward the end of your hair where your hair would naturally turn lighter.. it just gradually gets lighter. I'm also up for a lighter all over hair color... just if you suggest that keep in mind it must be cool colored based and nothing that will look horrific with light brown/ashy colored eyebrows. Thanks :)

Bad Hair Day?

If you're having a bad hair day, I found ways to fix specific problems and also just ways to fix your hair if you're in a hurry and don't know what to do or you're just bored with your hair. This might be lengthy considering I'm going to use pictures.. So be prepared to scroll, alot!

8 WAYS TO STYLE/FIX HAIR WHEN IT WON'T COOPERATE:

Decorative Bobby Pins! If all you have time to do is just pull your bangs back or lock in a piece of hair that doesn't belong.. but you want something other than just a plain, hair colored bobby pin.. investing in some unique ones I think is a good idea. Of course it doesn't have to be buttons like those. But something as simple as a decorative bobby pin can make you feel a bit more put together, like you meant for it to be that way, even if it's just your go-to hairstyle.

Scarves! They're not only for around your neck. Some people can actually pull this off. I've never tried it, but maybe someday, it's kind of cute.. if you're dressed really casual that day and just wanna throw your hair up and accessorize it a bit.

Hats! I LOVE HATS! I'd buy more hats and wear them more often if I had more opportunities to wear them and not feel like an idiot. If you really have no where else to go, no more ways to fix your hair that day, you can put on a hat like that, and I think it's really cute!

Headbands! They come in all different sizes and designs. Headbands like this one are good for not only holding hair in place, but they're cute as well. You could easily tuck back your bangs if you wanted to and it still look just as pretty.

Dry Shampoo! Okay, now please, don't use this everyday.. that's gross! Dry shampoo is just for times when you're like in a rush, or your hair just doesn't look like you want it too or for second day hair if you're a person who washes your hair every other day. It's just not meant to take the place of a normal shampoo, just to freshen it up a bit. My advice is if you purchase a dry shampoo, get a kind that sprays invisible or dries invisible so you won't have random white flakes or streaks in your hair.

Using Ribbon! There are lots of ways to use ribbon in your hair. For example, in the picture, the girl just has is tied around her head with a bow around the braid. I personally think it's adorable that way. But if you want, you can just tie them in bows or braid it in with your natural hair. It's all up to you.

Braids! I love braids.. but for a braid like above it's kind of difficult to do with shorter hair. There are a lot of different kinds of braids you can do, and it can be all of your hair or half of it, there's really a lot of options with braids. The one above is meant to look messy.. so if you're already having a bad hair day, this would probably be a good option for you. I call it a fishtail braid, but I've heard people call it a mermaid braid as well.

And last but not least, there's always the option to throw your hair up into a bun! It's quick and easy and there are tons of different kinds. Whether it's messy like Lauren Conrad's above or sleek on the top of your head, it doesn't matter, just whatever you prefer. I like most all of them!

Hi! I feel Sick!

Everyone around me has been sick lately. Have I caught it? I hope not. Let's hope it's just monday morning eewness. I had a fuzzy on my shirt, but I got it.. Don't worry. I honestly have no idea what to discuss, but like every day pretty much I feel obligated to make a blog. I want to have over a hundred of them by the end of the year. This is boring. I'm going to go find a topic to make a blog about..

Vacations

I'm too darn excited for all the trips I'll be going on in the next two years. We never really go anywhere.. And I've NEVER been on vacation with my mom so I'm pretty excited. Not only for the smaller ones but there are bigger ones as well. So on spring break, there's obviously Gatlinburg like I've said before. That's if we get child support and what not. But this summer is our texas trip to go see my aunt and uncle in dallas. Summer after that we're wanting to go to the beach somewhere so I can experience it for the first time. And then summer after senior year I'm going to Hawaii. I've always been afraid of planes and giant bodies of water, even rivers and lakes.. but I want to face all those fears at that time and just go somewhere for me. And If I can't find anyone to go with me I'm taking my little sister. She's like, that's embarrassing. But I told her.. no it's not. I don't know anyone who's sister will just willingly take them on vacation with them. But whatever. My mom said that it'll be cool and she wishes she could have traveled like that. Eventually I want to go to Australia/New Zealand as well but that's not any time soon. Sooooo... those are the ones I'm planning and going on with family and then hawaii with no parents. Aside from that, I have no idea what type of places I'll go with my dad's family. Hopefully some more interesting places.. But I'm excited to finally start going places.That's all! Happy Friday!

Uniquely Normal Questions

On this site there are questions, usually I skip around and pick a few, but I'll do them all today.

1. What is your best friends mom's name?Sabrena

2. What is the weirdest place you have a mole? When I was little I had a mole on the back of my hand but somehow it isn't there anymore

3. What is the strangest talent you have? frog killin' I've always been good at that.

4. Innie or outie? Innie!

5. What are your favorite flavored pringles? Cheddar or Original

6. What is the last thing you got grounded for? I got grounded in the 7th grade for hiding at someones house and not answering my phone on purpose. I never get grounded really.

7. Do you parallel park or drive around the block? Prefer to drive around but I do know how to parallel park.

8. How many times have you been cussed out? At least once a week pretty much my whole life!

9. Which shoe do you put on first? Right shoe.

10. Have you ever been cow tipping or snipe hunting? No.

11. Have you ever been in a gay bar? No, I've never been in any bar.

12. Did you kiss anyone before you were 16? Yes

13. Who is the last person you think about before you fall asleep? Sawyer or whoever I might be texting before the time I crash.

14. Is there one thing all of your love interests (ever) have had in common? Uhh, I'm pretty sure at the moment they're all seniors.

15. Have you ever had a poem or song written about you? Yes

16.  Have you ever found anything in your parent's room that was questionable? Haha YES! So many times..

17. What was your childhood nickname? Nicki, everyone called me Nicki from 1st to 7th grade.

18. When was the last time you played guitar? A few years ago.

19. Weirdest thing you have done while driving? Asking what you do at the green light. (I know what to do, I was just panicking)

20. Have you ever bitten your toenails? Eew, no.

21. How do you eat cookies? I always break my food into pieces if I can.

22. When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt? No... I've only gone to an actual gym a few times in my life.

23. Name something you do when you're alone that you don't normally do around others? Sing/dance

24. Ever sniffed an animals butt? No, that's really gross.

25. How often do you clean out your ears? Regularly

26. How many times a day do you get a wedgie? Haha I don't know, depends.

27. Do you have any strange phobias? bodies of water, darkness, paranoid about most everything, birds.

28. Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Yes, pennies when I was little, and I'm sure other things.

29. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted? Yes

30. Ever called a love interest by an ex's name? No

31. Ever caught the guy you're on a date with farting? Thank goodness no.

32. Opinion about Girls? I'm not fond of having a large group of them for friends. They get on my nerves too fast.

34. Opinion about Boys? They think too highly of themselves most of the time and don't know how to treat other people.

35. Have you ever had two dates in one night? No.

36. Ever kissed in a movie theater? Yes, but it wasn't a big deal or anything like people make of it.

37. What kind of shampoo do you use? I switch it up. We have tons of different shampoos in our shower. Last night I used Redken All Soft Shampoo.

38. Have you ever been tied up? No. And I'd rather stay untied.

39. If you had to chose to only wash bed sheets or bath towels again, which one would you continue to wash? That's tough, I have no idea.

40. Which is most difficult; looking into the eyes of the person you're telling your feeling to OR looking into that person's eyes when they're telling you how they feel about you? Looking into their eyes as they tell me.

41. You can have one of these things: Trust or love? Trust

42. Where do you go when you want to have fun? Driving random places

43. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom

44. Why does religion cause so much war? I have no idea, but people who make such big deals about it, It's really stupid. Get over it. You stop worrying about what others think or do and focus on yourself.

45. What do you want to do for a career and why? Well, I'm planning to be a psychologist, I want the highest degree for it and all. It just fascinates me.

46. What do you call your grandparents? Nana, Papaw, Papaw J, Granny, Mamaw James, Grandma Cricket. (Those are the ones still alive)

47. What is the best age to marry? Early 20s. For me at least.

48. Childhood pets? Goldie, Sky, and 2 others(fish); Sparky, Coco, Jake, Lily, Rufus, Flora, Posie (dogs); Kitty(cat); and I had two turtles and a hamster named Willow.

49. If you could change anything about how you were raised what would it be? To not have been around parties and drugs and things.

50. What do your parents do for a living? My mom is a nurse and dad works at a factory.

This song is stuck in my head

I like to sing the song "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston. I sing it multiple times. Since Saturday it has been a fascinating song to me and I sing and dance to it in my room or outside, wherever really. When I get home, I usually sing it. When I work out, I sing it. At night, I also sing it. I sing this song until someone complains (my sister). I don't sing it back to back unless I'm working out. But in between other songs I do like to sing it because really I love it too much. The words are fabulous and my mother likes it when I plug up my phone and let the song fill our house because it used to be one of her favorite songs as well. Why don't we have good music anymore?

I Do Not Want to Share Things With You.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I share so much with the world? Why I share my secrets and personal life so easily.. and honestly I have no idea. But I've came to a point where I no longer just want to share whatever with whoever just happens to be there. It gets really complicated that way. There are people who don't ever let anyone in, and then there are people who let everyone be involved and know every detail and emotion. I happen to be more like the second person. I'd rather from now on just be more in between. Only a few people should know the things that get to me or what's going on in my life. I don't want to blurt things out anymore, not that I even did before.. I just feel like I tell people my own details so easily. It just doesn't seem like a good idea anymore to be close to so many people. From now on, you pretty much won't know much about me unless you ask and are actually interested in my being and are genuinely my friend. Because if not, I'm just wasting my time voluntarily telling you things that are going on with me.

ill yoe thud eith my eyes ckidrf

I had zero time to get ready for school today. My makeup is nowhere near complete, I only have under eye concealer on today, and then my hair was just thrown up in a pony tail. I had to wake up 30 minutes before normal so my mother could go to the doctor and have strange things explore her esophagus to discover the bad things that cause her to bleed as she coughs and pukes. I'm scared for her because they're gonna put her to sleep. She's always been afraid of that, because when she had cancer they told her it'd be really dangerous to ever put her to sleep again. But I'm sure she'll be fine. In other news, yesterday I was at sawyer's house and we shot  a bow. I hit the deer in the middle target place every time but like twice. Once in the face and once I got really far away and it released before I wanted it to and it hit this pole and made sparks. I also jumped on the trampoline some. I miss my trampoline.. But anyway, I'm not really very talkative today with most people. I'd rather just sit there again like I had been, not caring much about the things around me. I'm really tired. But I'm always tired. I just dont know what to talk about right now. No new things have happened other than what i've already said. So does that mean this blog should end? No because its only 8:19 and what else would i do? Make a different blog? Yes.

Cheeseburger fries...

Over the Weekend

This past weekend was pretty swell. One of the best ones in a while. It felt more like summer to me and that made me happy. The windows were open and door screens were up, I was outside for the majority of the time and it felt fabulous! I really don't remember friday though at all. If someone asked me what I did, I wouldn't remember a thing. I probably, more than likely took a super long nap. Saturday was wonderful. I woke up at maybe 8 or 9 to the sound of Nana's voice! She came to my house with Papaw and they looked at our lawnmower so that we could finally mow our yard. During their visit I exercised, a lot! They left a few hours later.. Directly after their departure, I changed my shoes and began to mow the yard! It was really hot outside and It made me itchy! After I mowed I had to stand with a water hose and put out our fire that was burning. After a bit I went inside and found something I thanked god for letting me find.... my mail! Haha yeah, my mail. Technically it was mail because i did find it in a mailbox! Seventeen magazine was so interesting to read last night. It had lots of handy information for me. After all the excitement over my mail, I played outside with the babies, Tavion and Millie :) We jumped on the exercise trampoline. That was fun. I went to bed at like 11. Sunday morning came a bit too early! 6:50 to be exact! But I was not at all upset by this. I worked out intensely twice yesterday. Then I went to Sawyer's little brothers 2nd birthday party. It had fish there, and a kitty cat. :)

What I've learned lately

(I was looking for topics to blog about on this site and this is one I knew I could do)

1. I learned  how to make really cute bows. Bailey (my little sister) made me watch a video on it, and it was really a lot simpler than I ever thought it'd be. There are so many different patterns and things you can use to make a lot of unique ones.

2. If I'm putting multiple things in the oven, I need to set the temperature to the highest temperature needed and then check on the other food to make sure it's done every so often so something doesn't get over or under cooked.

3. Effective ways of stretching to make jumps higher. It's kind of painful at first but I'm improving.

4. That full bars are disgusting! I don't care if a doctor person designed them, they taste like cardboard and grass.

5. Life is going by very quickly and I'm not going to pass up any more opportunities leading to the things I love.

6. My cartilage piercing didn't grow up! I hadn't put an earring in there since about 7th grade, and I tried the other day and it worked! It burns though and breaks out my ear because I'm not really suppose to wear earrings that aren't gold. Pretty much everyone in my family is that way.

7. I'm pretty sure Quinn isn't dead on Glee because there are pictures of her in the next episodes spoilers. So that sucks cause I don't really like Quinn.



Well, I could only think of that many things. I'm sure that there are more things I've learned lately, but those just popped into my mind the quickest.

So today I feel really lost. I feel like since I was gone yesterday, I'm going to have no idea what's going on in classes. I also have a quiz today over that book in world civ.. I don't understand it much. After school I have to go to eddyville. We're gonna go see an old lady and a little girl that's my sister's friend. That'll be boring. But mom said I gotta go. Also, today it's mine and Sawyer's two years. And two years ago I honestly didn't know if we'd ever make it this far. I like the fact that we made it through all that we have. Maintaining a relationship is really hard sometimes.. but I love the fella. :)

Other than all that, I don't have much else to talk about. I'm kind of hungry.. and I feel like my hair is still poofy cause when i woke up it was huge. But I'll go now. Happy Thursday.

super lengthy blog

For the past week or so, my mind has been blocked from taking in anything remotely close to what I need to be. It won't let  me think about anything other than personal issues. Over and over and over. Nothing about school, nothing about my nonstop searches to find  a job. I can't focus on any of that. No matter how hard I try to focus on it, I can't. I've probably also been being really short with people lately. I can't help that either. I'm not in the mood to sit and listen right now. It's nothing against the people. My mind just wont stay on whatever you're trying to tell me for more than like 30 seconds. I just to be honest could care less right now. And really I don't care if that's mean or not. I give people advice all the time. For some reason people must think I magically know the answers to all problems or know all the details about a certain situation. I don't. Although I give pretty good, logical advice, I just don't want so many people asking for my input anymore. Because I'm so busy giving other people advice, I'm losing myself because I never listen to what I say to them. Because more often than not, I'm going through it or have already. But like my mother says, I'm a really bad decision maker and so I wish I would have taken my own advice a long time ago. But anyway I got way off track there. Point is, unless I talk to someone first, I'm not to keen on being approached. Is it so bad to just focus on yourself and your own life issues for a little bit? I don't think so. Thing is, I don't know what these things are for the most part, or how they can be fixed. So... I end up doing nothing and let this horrible, angry, sad feeling just lie in my mind. Healthy, I know. It's also SUPER healthy to want to sleep away physical pain and stress. I hope you notice my sarcasm there. ...I hope I find all the things I'm looking for one day.. I don't know what they are. But they're missing, and.. I don't feel very good without what ever it may be. But all of this, and more than just what little I've said, It's taking over every inch of me pretty much. And I'm mentally tired. Physically tired too, but more-so mentally. These are the moments when I really start to wish I didn't have those stupid obsessive thinking habits, when I wish severe anxiety didn't exist.. and neither does helplessness or the fact that in reality, people do run away from you.. that sometimes things are intentional, though you wish they were unintentional.. just hoping all these things are little mistakes leading to something really good. Then you get to this point and you think of all the reasons why there's only bad and not good. You remember everything, and realize your mistakes.. and then know exactly how to fix them but you cant, because no one can time travel forward or backwards.. whichever you need to go. It's either too late or too soon. And maybe no one else thinks in this sort of way, but I do. And I think of these sort of things pretty well 24/7 until my breakdown point. Well, I'm done with this now. It was extremely weird of me to just say exactly what's on my mind.. but I don't care to share everything to the world, we all live off these crazy experiences anyway.. not like anyone truly cares anyway. so yeah.. Thats all. Again, don't be messing with me right now. aaaand done!

No.

Cuss the aliens. My theory was wrong.
Humans are the evil ones.

Aliens and My Brain.

I feel like they have taken over my body and are making me ill and ruining a lot of things. I'm not really even kidding. There is no explanation for the things that are happening within. So.. my guess is aliens. I search for answers, nothing. In my mind I sound kind of paranoid when I read this as I'm typing. But the abduction has traumatized me so much. If you have answers, I need them.. but you aren't a doctor of any sort.. therefore you can't be of any assistance. Only the aliens know, so it is them I must ask. Alien life forms.. wherever you are, return to me. Tell my why you have done these things to make me feel so awkward and confused and weak.

I need to close my eyes for a moment. When I closed my eyes, everything was loud and I felt nothing but dizzy. It's almost as if someone was telling me to just fall back and numerous fluffy clouds would catch me. I know I sound pretty odd right now.. But wouldn't you be too, if no one had the answers you were looking for? Don't we just make up reasons in our head when a mystery is just left unknown? Now I know I'm leading into another subject.. but it's true for this as well as many  other things that when we don't know reality we tend to make things up.. think of the worst but hope for the best.. I'm tired of thinking of the worst thing first. Especially in a time where a lot of bad things are happening. So even if it's like 0% logical, my reason is aliens. If I just keep thinking it's aliens that did and are still doing these things, my only anger will be for the aliens.. because I know they'll never give me the answers, just like in reality sometimes you never get answers. So why think the worst when there are alternatives other than what you  don't even know is true or not and may never know, no matter how hard you search for them.. You might still get nothing.. I'm just going to try not expecting this anymore. -Because they never happen when or how you expect them to. Any good book or movie will teach you that.

I stole Questions this time

- Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yes

- What was your dream growing up? I had a few. To be famous, A big girl cheerleader, and a corn farmers wife. Also I wanted to be the one to feed prisoners.. I don't know why..

- What talent do you wish you had?  Relearn Piano, Better Singing

- If I bought you a drink what would it be? Water of course

- What was the last book you read? PB teen Magazine 

- What zodiac sign are you? Libra :)

- Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Yes. Two on the bottom of each year, two on the top of one ear, and my lip. No tattoos although I plan on getting one.

- Worst Habit? 

- What is your favorite sport? If I can't pick competitive cheer and dance, I'll go with soccer.

- Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? Depends on the day and situation.

- Worst thing to ever happen to you? Losing my baby, hands down.

- Tell me one weird fact about you. At night time, I cant sleep unless all these things happen. 1. covers tucked around me. 2. covers up to my neck. 3. pillows beneath my head and to each side of me.

- Do you have any pets? Yes. My puppies name is Flora. And then my sister's puppy is Posie.

- What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? Who's showing up.. Because it depends on the person. Normally I don't like surprise company. So you'd probably sit in the living room until I was ready.

- Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary. I hate them. They're terrifying.

- If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Smile. But that'll change at some point.

- What color eyes do you have? All kinds. My ID says blue. But theres green and gray and yellow in them too. I get complements on my eyes ALL the time.

- Ever been arrested?  Nope.

- If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? get some sort of vehicle, and go shopping and get my hair done. (Sawyer says buy him a birthday present)

- Do you believe in ghosts? YES! They freak me out. I'm absolutely paranoid about them.. In my mind they're all bad and scary and they could be everywhere. I cant be home alone, I cant be in the dark, and I hate having to close my eyes. Simply because I'm that scared.

- Favorite thing to do in your spare time? I spend most of my time with Sawyer or my family.

- Biggest pet peeve? When people do what they swear they'll never do.. Or don't do what they promised they would.

- In one word, how would you describe yourself?  Bubbly

- Do you believe/appreciate romance?  Absolutely!

- Do you believe in God? Of course!

Warm Weather "Fashion"

Things I'm excited to wear in the upcoming months! Thank goodness the winter is coming to an end, something about it just doesn't scream at me "dress pretty" but spring and summer do. So I'm excited :)

High waisted shorts. I love them so much. They're different from just normal shorts and can give something extra to an outfit. I'm excited to get a few pair of them and wear them just like above.

Oxford shoes. These shoes are cute in my opinion. Not just an every day common shoe. And these colors are more springy and summery so I'll try to find some shoes like these. To me, they're cute with a lot of things, and like the shorts, can give something a whole different feel.

Polka Dot/Patterned A-line dresses. I was looking for a dress a bit different than this, not with such flow-y sleeves, but this will do. I really like these dresses for a couple reasons. 1. They're flattering on a lot of people. and 2. For the more back in they day feeling they give off. They're cute and they're in right now. And even if they weren't popular to wear, I still would wear them.

But yeah.. This was a little different kind of blog and I think I'll do more of them like this.. Telling a few things I really like. The whole point of this was to be a beauty related blog.. and I've really strayed from that.. But I'm really in the mood to start doing more of these.. So yeah.. That was just a few of the things i'm excited to wear when it gets warm.. of course I'm not pairing them all together.. But just as just really cute pieces you can mix and match things with. Also, if you hate these things and for future reference too, I don't care about negative opinions. This is just what I like, and you have the option to come to my page and read them. I just want positive feedback for the most part. And like I said these are just my opinions. So there. I guess that's it! Goodbye (:

5 Highlights of Monday

1. I had a massive panic attack in Chemistry 6th period. So we were sitting there, I knew the egg was about to blow up.. I covered my face to hide from it, peek-a-booing out of my fingers. And then... POP! And I scream! I can no longer breathe and while trying to catch my breath the people stare and I begin to cry because I'm scared. What's happening?! I'm dizzy and can't see very well. I need to lay my head down. This lasts for like 5 minutes.

2. I got home and took a nap, when I woke up, there was steak!

3. After a little bit, me and my mommy were on netflix, and this weird movie just automatically starting playing. I don't know what it was called.. and at first I didn't watch it, but then I got bored of sitting there so I started watching this movie and i was hooked. I can't even describe it.. But it was like this independent movie with like 5 people in it.. and it was almost like this guy just followed these people around and they talked and you could hear there thoughts. And at first I just thought these people were weird but then they were eating the "special brownies" and the girl didn't know it was laced with codine and something else. And it was just weird. and in black and white. It really freaked me out, but their reactions to things were funny. So I watched.

4. I was washing my face.. and I needed something out of the shower, so I reach over to open the door and my hand slams into the shower. I fall to the floor and say ouch, that really hurt.. and then I get back up and open the door and then somehow it closes on that same hand. (These are like metal and glass shower doors) but it hurt and now even if I'm barely touching it, it hurts. Later on, I was stepping out of the shower and stepped on the little metal part that makes the shower doors glide. That hurt too, and I tripped.. it was really awful.

5. I went to bed!

:D

Happy birthday to Sawyer. He's finally 18 today. So he has this mindset that he can do anything, it's funny. His mother has a different opinion about that. Anyway, even though this weekend wasn't as great as he'd planned, I hope today goes better and he is a happy young MAN!

Fridy(:

Yeah, I know I said Fridy. Every old person I know says Fridy.. so, why not say it myself! Today is Friday. That makes me extremely happy and joyful and cheery! Life is swell on Fridays. I'm ready for a weekend fun of adventures. A weekend full of slumber or not full of slumber, who knows. I'm ready for a weekend. Just a darn weekend. What kind of person isn't up for a weekend? I hope it doesn't go by too fast. I like my saturdays and sundays just as well as friday. They're nice to me cause they don't make me wake up so early and be at one place for long hours sitting on my bum. Instead I can do whatever the heck I wanna. Fridy, be done! I want Saturdy now!

To get to know yourself

These questions are said to determine what kind of life you lead. They're questions you should ask yourself and answer in self-reflection. I found them at http://personalexcellence.co/blog/101-questions-to-ask-yourself/. I wont answer all of them but Some of them I found unique.

1. Who are you?
I'm Ashley. But I really don't like that name for me. It's too common and was given to me for stupid reasons. I'm a Libra. I'm stubborn, I'm indecisive, and like equality and happiness. I like the beauty of things, all things. I like to write stories, I like to sing and dance. I take little details seriously and most everything to heart. I'm forgiving, probably too forgiving. I know I'm meant to be around people. I love being adventurous and happy but am super emotional at the same time. I'm just me.

2. What achievements are you most proud of?
Being super smart when I was younger. Up until highschool I was really good at school and sports, and I'm happy at the time I was involved in that. I won the baby pageant and that made me happy. I got best all around cheerleader in middle school. I'm proud I have my permit and am a good driver.

3. What are you most grateful for in life?
My family and other people who I'm close to. The support of a lot of people.

4. What are you passionate about?
People really. I love interacting with people. I spend time with my family all the time, I hate not having as many friends as I'd like to, I'm going to beauty school to deal with people every day and then going on to school to more than likely be a psychologist. So I'm a people person definitely.

5. How can you love yourself more today?
By finding little things about myself to compliment.

6. What is your ideal self?
To be happy with my appearance, make good choices for myself, don't hold grudges, help even more people, go to church more often, level out my emotional side, and accomplish all of my goals.

7. Look at your life right now, are you living the life of your dreams?
Not yet. Some things I never dreamed for myself or would never wish for anyone. My dream life would have gone a bit differently so far. But I plan for it to get better so that one day I might live the life of my dreams.

8. What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago?
Stop looking like that. You have no idea what your doing and thank god towards the end of the year you'll start to look and dress a little better! Also Stick with cheering, don't give up, you love it. And prepare yourself, you're about to meet a guy you'll be with for a looooong time and go through a heck of a lot with!

9. What is the biggest thing you've learned to date?
Don't skip out on opportunities you really want to accept.

10. What opportunities are you looking for?
Mainly at the moment a job.

11. If you are to do something for free for the rest of your life, what would you do?
Travel and help people who need it. Kind of like charity or missionary work mostly for people with families or are in a bad place.

12. What would you do if you couldn't fail, if there are no limitations on money or time?
Travel the world and enjoy all the things about it aaaand cheer again

13. What do you want to achieve 1 year from now? 3 years? 5 years? 10 years?
I want to be making way better grades and actually doing something with my time.
In three years I'll have been graduated for like a year I think and I'll be in some type of college.
In five years I'll still be in college, probably married, if not I'm not sure what else.
In 10 years I want to be out of college, married, and hopefully with a kid!

14. What is top priority in your life right now and what are you doing about it?
Finding a job because I need one and I've tried everywhere like 10 times. For real. And I'm continuing to go places and try more. If I haven't found a job here by April when I get my license I'll just have to go to other towns because I cant pay car insurance without money.

15. If you were to die tomorrow, what would be your biggest regret?
Not making the best of what I had and taking all my chances.

16. What is your ideal home like?
Brick, 4 bedroom. On the outskirts of a town. A giant yard and black fencing around it. If I wasn't terrified of horses, there would be some. There would be a pond and a pretty decent sized garden in the back. The inside would be all modern updated equipment but decorated in a country style, really homey but still have modern touches. I like warm colors so there would be a lot of that. Warm scents and seasonal decorative touches as well.

17. What can you do to start living your ideal life?
Doing more of the things that I love, start setting more realistic goals for the moment and working on achieving them, taking more opportunities, making money!

18. Are you settling for less than what you're worth?
Sometimes I do, in the past I did a lot. But I'm trying to start getting away from that.

19. What are bad habits you want to break?
Taking naps after school, Chipping off my nail polish purposely, (sawyer says I nag)

20. At what times are you most inspired, motivated or charged up?
When someone makes me angry or does something I disagree with I want to change it. OR just the opposite when I see something I love or am about to do something I've looked forward to.

21. How can you change someone's life for the better today?
Compliment them, Help them if they're struggling, Give them honest and helpful advice

22. Who are the 5 people you spend most of your time with?
Sawyer, Mom, Bailey, Nana, Everyone at school because 8 hours of my day are there.

23. What kind of people do you enjoy spending time with?
Funny people, not stupid funny, but actual funny. People who like to talk about different things and get in depth conversations going. People with similar interests as me.

24. What limiting beliefs are you holding onto?
What my adult people around say that I'm just little and can't do anything or shouldn't or "never will achive this or that"

25. Are you putting any of your life on hold? Why?
A little bit yes. Because at one point it was going okay and then It just stopped so now I'm waiting a while to pick back up. And I'm using this time for me. I know that probably doesn't make sense but it does in my mind, in my situation.

Blob fish

Blob fish are really ugly. I just thought I'd put up a picture of this little fish and show you. I don't expect this blog to count because I know it'll be short and it's not serious. But here you go. This human-like fish survive in the deep seas of Australia and Tasmania. They are currently facing extinction due to people fishing for them. The end.