May sucks and old people talk

        I feel really weird being in highschool throughout may because last year I had to skip out on the whole entire month, meaning I didn't take any tests at the end or any sort of scheduling stuff, I still passed, without doing any school work the entire time. It just is weird and foreign to me. Which, April and May both have always sucked for me because these are the months everyone in my family just dies. Surprisingly no one's gone yet. Though some are extremely close...
        I keep thinking about my great grandparents.. All that's left are the women. Men all went first. They're all such sweet, independent, adorable old ladies.. I wanna be like them when I'm old. I thought of that last night. I just wanna grasp as much as I can from them before they go. They all lived such interesting lives though. Had all these stories to tell.. I hope I have stories to tell.. I hope I'm as much of an inspiration to my grandkids as mine are to me, whether I've showed it very much or not. When Grandma cricket and Mamaw James go, I think i'll cry. I never cried at a funeral before until last year.. but then again that funeral was killing two birds with one stone in my mind. I just feel differently about my grandmothers. There's a different connection, I'm closer with them, I aspire to be more like them. And maybe just maybe it'll push me at that point to do so.